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  • Brock Short

Breann Ashford w/Ballroom at I Street

Updated: Jan 6

Established in late 2016, The Ballroom on I Street is one of the most popular wedding and event venues in Northwest Arkansas. Find out how the owners got their start, what challenges they’ve faced in the last few years, and what they hope to accomplish with their venue in the years to come. Get to know Breann Ashford,

*Below is the automated transcript of the above video

Hey, I'm Brock with Brock entertainment and Amanda with Amanda Reed weddings. And this is the IDOIQ Podcast, where each and every week we're gonna be discussing the latest in wedding and event trends. And we're going to let you know all the things that you need to know in order to make your event the most special. Yeah, in Indian, you will have the best wedding and event experience ever. And something tells me we're going to have a little fun along the way. I don't know about that. I'm a pretty serious guy, man. And this is a serious topic. So only seriousness serious business. This is the IDOIQ podcast. Let's begin. Welcome to another episode of IDOIQ podcast. Amanda, how you doing? I'm so good. How are you? I'm doing good rockin Amanda here in studio, we're gonna have our first guest today, which is kind of cool. I know. It's a little bit exciting. Yeah, but I want to know, first, what are you into this week? This week? I've just been thinking about all so many trends that I see all My Brides for the current year and the upcoming year. Yeah. And something I love. And this is not a new trend, necessarily, but it's something I'm seeing more and more people jump on is having a live event painter have somebody come and actually paint the event and have their first dance first kiss, I think to take that and to go above beyond above and beyond photography, and to have something that is a little bit more I mean, like high art, you have something in your home. That is cool. I love it. I'm just obsessed with it. And what is though the painter that comes in they get done here like I am very adamant about vetting my artists to do that. Yeah, I'm very serious about that I've got two or three that are really work one in particular I work with the most but here are three that I really love to work with. And I'm super careful about recommending them to clients to write and to make sure that they go check out more of their work so that they're not like you told us the painter was good It's terrible. He's a character What the heck exactly so I try really hard to make sure that I'm giving them somebody who as with all vendors and all you know anytime I make a recommendation someone that I trust and I really believe in their work Yeah, well I like that. Yeah, art art. Okay, the song that I'm into right now. I love dua Lipa don't start now I'm obsessed because you just got that pump and B has yo happy it's a happy song even though she's like Don't mess with me but right it's a happy it's just a cool song to dance to in yet another song that when I first played it, everybody just kind of stood there. Yeah, but now it's like alright. Oh, my daughter's dance competition a couple weeks ago. We I mean like that they turned that on and the entire room the entire stage. All the girls are out there waiting for awards, lost their minds ever love it. Yeah, it was cool. And I was just glad it's not like just a hip hop rap song. I know. It's a full on just just dance song. That might be a song of the year could it be? Do you think? I don't know might be it's looking good so far. I like it. I like it, too. And now what if we hate it in three months? Well, that was the Song of the Year. Right? Good. Yeah, at one point, it wasn't going up the charts fast enough. I know. I know. And now it's number one. But it's not the point where you hear on the radio every other rotation either. So I still like true. You know, like, I got to go to iTunes to like it. Hear it. And that's a good thing. I feel like hearing it right now. I kind of do too. I'll let you introduce our first guest ever on on the podcast. Yeah, I've got my good friend Brianne Ashford here who is the CO owner of one of the coolest menus in Northwest Arkansas, the ballroom at I street in Bentonville. She's got a really cool place. It's a beautiful white space. And it's fun to design and create special events in there. So and I know you've worked there, and it's fun to DJ, I'm sure. I mean, I think they really thought through a lot of the aspects of the space before creating it. And they've done a great job so far. Welcome on the show. Breanna. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. So sweet. First off, why did you get into the wedding business? Because once you're in, it's hard to get out. Right? You know? Yeah, you're not going anywhere, anytime soon. It's a lifestyle. What made you want to own a venue? First of all? Well, Mom and I do it together, which is really fun and crazy. And washer. Right? all the above. We started it just by driving by and seeing the house that is from the 30s. And because she lived nearby and so we just admired the architecture, just the tall columns, always thinking of pretty things and what we want to do and investing back into the wedding venue for each new couple that comes we really enjoy that. I love that new surprises. It's always a fun to count. It's always fun to go see what new thing you added that it is because it's like, oh, I know when the when the boxwood walls went up. I was like, Yes, this is so nice, right? It really transformed that patio space. It's so nice, you know, and that I will say as a planner that additional space outside has been invaluable in being able to offer someone a larger event space is you know, it's tricky to find a space that can accommodate the numbers that some of these weddings have been there exist very few spaces that can accommodate 350 400 people. It's not easy in your venue. But when you can open up to both inside and outside, it's very manageable. But I do find that in this area, those bigger venues are hard to fill in general, because there's not a lot of riaj wedding. So having a space like this that can accommodate like stability doesn't feel like if it's 100 person wedding, it's way too big. Yeah. Then you feel like that at all. Yeah. And I think that's the beauty of this space is that you have been very thoughtful in how can we make it flexible? And how can I maybe that was intentional. Maybe it was by accident. But it seems that it seems very intentional that it works well for our clients when they're looking at having something with a larger guest count. So I love that. I love that. So who is the brains behind everything? Is it Mom is that you? Were it's definitely collaborative. Okay. Yeah, tell us the brilliance. Yeah, no, no, I mean, we weren't actually really well together. We're very different. And so I think that helps. We don't normally but heads that much. And so, you know, I'll brainstorm and I'll just say which one he thinks best. And then she gives the Go ahead, you know, for which is best, and I'll go with it. I think it's an interesting dynamic labor. That's a good dynamic To have a mother daughter, too. Yeah, you think about things could get uncomfortable sometimes. But I think you all manage it probably pretty well, with anybody almost like no matter who you are, I wouldn't want to run it by myself for running because that would be scary. And way too much responsibility on me. I wouldn't want to run it with a spouse. Yeah, I've we've tried things. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough in any scenario. So I think any, any relationship within a partnership with business would be tricky, but I'm grateful for sure. She's in partnership with her. She's a great lady, too. I have to be honest. Oh, yeah, I feel bad. We left her out today. She is extremely kamesh. camera and voice voice shy. Yeah. Which I am too. But, um, you're doing a great job. Yeah. She got asked to model one time for like a mother of the bride. Yeah, I'm thinking and she was like, I can see her face in her reaction. Yeah. But yeah. So you have the old house. You kept the old house there on the property that's still standing use that as both an office and a bridal quarters. Correct. Right. It's a whole bridal party house. So there's a bridal suite, a groom suite, a lounge? A brunch room, a kitchen and then two bedrooms that can be run in overnight if they they want to know I've DJ there. I don't know how many times never been in that. What you never wrote never been in never been invited photo shoot then all of that and you can never get a in Dracula can't come into a house if unless you never know I've never met me though. You write reason you go and you set up. You do your thing. Yeah. Just don't go over there reason to venture over. It's so cute. It's so cute. Well, no, I need to go. And I was even there for the open house and never went. That's really funny. I don't know why, honestly. But yeah. So you've been booking up solids in 2016? Right? It's grown for sure. Um, 19 was just a smidge. It wasn't as huge as 17 to 18. At 20 I think was making up I don't know if people were it seems to be the overall consensus that 2020 was busier this year. It Yeah. So from couples waiting either number for the year. What because that that matters. Gotta get married? Yeah. Because in the long run that will save your marriage. Of course, the date you get married. Yeah, I was married. 1111. And you see how well that worked out for me. Well, yeah, you know, what, 1111 was not your double snake eyes. I don't see a problem there at all. No. So so for as a venue owner, what do you think the the biggest hurdles you've had to face since you've owned the venue? have been Wow, that's a great question. Like having not even been in the industry. And thinking oh, you know, we'll just have a venue. Yeah, we'll just want to book it. Yeah, you I mean, we we get it all the time. People are like, I would love to own a venue. It would be so great be so easy. be so fun. So easy show. I mean, I loved it. Yeah, it looks like so much fun. So I think there's a lot of you know, just unknowns. Yeah, business so I don't know it's just a fill in the gaps of when you have issues. You know, like we're in there scrubbing the walls or when cleaning is a show up in the middle of the night. We're the ones mopping the floors. You know, it's never ending basically it is definitely never ending there's always things you can improve things you can you know, have to maintain a large space is a lot to insure for one. Right? There's just a lot of times you factor that in that format did not reflect that huge a fire insurance policy. Hmm, it's just things you don't think about. And this right here, you know, nobody's insured that I know of vendor wise insured for what's happening. Yeah. Or even if they are right, it's probably not covered. It's not. No. Yeah. Who, who thinks of covering a pandemic? Yeah. Which brings us to that topic. What as a venue owner, are you doing to work with the vendors like Amanda and myself and couples during this crazy time? That's unheard of in our industry and in our world? Yeah. That has definitely This is definitely I, this is what I should have said for my answer a while ago, like, this is the hardest, most stressful thing we have ever done in the business. I think we would all agree with that. Yeah, I think vendor community wise, and I mean, everyone in general, but I think we would all agree with that statement. This is the hardest situation I've ever it's, it's, yeah, yeah, as a fixer. I'm a fixer, right, like an immediate fixer. Like, if there's an issue, I'm going to work immediately on how to resolve it. And so that's been one of the biggest things, for me personally, is not being able to shut it off. Like to continue even though my brain knows there's no way to fix it. I want to how the best you can deal with it. It just keeps rolling. Like, what if I did this? And what if we did this? And what if we tried to almost same way? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I like to wait, let's do it. Now. Let's fix it. Let's move on. Well, I think those of us that are especially in hospitality like this, I think we do want to fix this problem for everyone. And the best we can for the vendors, for the clients for everybody. We want to fix it for everyone. And it just, that's the other point is, we have all these amazing couples and brides and grooms that are amazing. They really are balancing that with the people who run this industry, who are our friends, you know, and who, a lot of them who rely fully on this industry, whether they're a husband and wife team or a single mom, you know, there's several of those. And so it's it's not just the client consideration, but it's also the people who make it happen on a day in day out basis. You know, they're the reason why we're here. That's the reason why the party spun. That's why it's so beautiful. You know, it's because of vendors like you guys, that's been the biggest struggle as a venue is balancing all these considerations like not just for us, and our mortgage payment and our utility bills and everything else that still goes on, regardless of whether people are there on the weekend or not, is taking into consideration everybody else who's connected and involved even outside the couples and their families. So that has been a really hard balance. And stressing Are you are you trying to stay positive? And because a lot of a lot of people, you can get negative it's easy. Yeah. And a lot more easy to or easier to be negative than positive especially with what we're going through. How have you and your your mom and the people involved in the ballroom been able to stay so positive? Well, we've definitely tried to look at the bright side of everything. I know it's hard for couples to see a lot of this but like immediately My mind went to, you know, I'm sure they don't feel that but couples who are having to do different scenarios. Like last weekend, we had a one of our Brides, she went ahead and decided to have a small intimate wedding and then she's going to repeat everything in the fall. So for me, I was like that. That's actually so great for her because she is getting this intimate time with her family and with her new husband. She gets to see him all day long. They went home and had a family reception at home with intimate family and then I'm just thinking in the fall, she's gonna have no stress. Right party. Yeah, the entire day. She doesn't have to hide from him for half the day. You know, she's gonna be they're going to be all together. Okay. Have some fun. Yeah, the whole day is going to be so enjoyable. Yeah. So that's one benefit. That way, but and those are great pictures, by the way. Oh, they were fantastic. I haven't followed Barb and I St. and seen some of these pictures that Jason Hutson, the photographer took of social distancing at a wedding. Yeah, they're incredible and hilarious. Really are again, making the best of it. Yeah. lemonade out of lemons in the you have a story to tell. Life is a story, right? And you have a story of we just got married, or we got married during one of the craziest times in history. Right? And weddings. It was. It was, you know, scary. But yet, it was incredible because we spend it with the people that we love the most. And then later, we had an amazing party. But in the end, we got married. It's a cool story. You know, despite it being maybe not what you dreamt up as a kid. Right? You realize as you grow up life isn't anything what you dreamt up? Yes, exactly. Right. It's true. I told you I got married on 1111. Right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, our next our next feature on social media is a bride who is the most torrential rain that came right off the bat. Out of nowhere, like we were going forward for outdoor ceremony and it was her Her pictures are just beautiful. It's almost like you just you can see it in their face like it did not matter like, right still looking at each other, not the rain. Yeah, you know. And so I'm excited for that feature to come up just to give people a little bit of hope because there's even a picture of the outdoor Sarah, that did not happen. It was more sad. But yeah, just saying that it's not about every little detail as much as it is, you know, it's about to becoming one. Yeah, it's about you, too. I did a wedding a few years ago that had been canceled two different times. The bride gots mom got sick, so they had to reschedule. And then the bride got in a car wreck or something like that. And then they reschedule again. And the day that it happened, it was a march wedding. It snowed that day, during an outdoor ceremony at sassafrass is where it was beautiful, though, right? It was incredible in the brides like, you know what, we are doing this thing? I've wanted two extra years to have this. The pictures turned out amazing. Yeah. And they times nature's she's like, we're not moving this inside. We're taking this outside do it. And then they moved it inside and had a incredible party. But yeah, even when I see that, right today, she's like, Man, that was the best wedding. The snow was beautiful. And said hold. But you know what? Who cares? We got married. And we're still married. So I love that I think I look at Can you be that it even snows here? I wedding? I know. Right? Like that is extremely good. a snow day for anything to get a snow day to say we're alive. We have rain days. days. A few Corona days right now. But yeah. Oh my goodness. So just in general, when a bride is planning her wedding, a couple hours planning their wedding. What kind of advice would you give them on? venue booking? Like, what should they do first, when contacting interesting, what are some questions they might ask what are some important things for them to keep in mind, I think looking at the whole day, the day as a whole, not maybe just the ceremony or just the reception the day. The whole day is so important in Summerville because it goes by so fast. And it's such a blur, really most of it. When I got married, I woke up and we obviously did it all by ourselves. So we absolutely love planners, and encourage everyone, everyone to get a planner. Amen. Because it's just it's seriously 180 difference between those with with and without, but stress wise and beauty. But sometimes, if you have someone like Amanda but when I got married, I woke up. I slept in because I wanted the day to go by fast, right? So I woke up at 10 no one was home. Oh, no one was the entire house was empty. They were decorating the church and the reception. And so I was like, Okay, cool. I was in reception at the church. No, it was at a golf course. Okay, clubhouse in Portsmouth. So I was like, okay, cool, I'll relax, I'll take a bath, you know, this, this days is gonna be lovely, even if I'm alone. And so I took a bath. And it wasn't until like that afternoon till I got back. And they wanted to handle all that stuff for me as a stress free, but like half the day I was alone. And so that was a big part of the bridal party house what we wanted it to feel like home, we want to encourage them to have planer so they are in there with the people that matter most to them until they're with their groom. And just enjoying that part of the day. You know, being together, laughing, dancing, you know, makeup in the Moses, chick fil a tres, which is what it usually is, yeah, as a stable lining is showing, but just enjoying that time together and not having more that day to soak up because it does come and go. That's really good. I love that advice, too, because and in the fact that you were able to take that personal experience and make it well, this is what I don't want for someone else. Well, something I've noticed and I don't know if it still exists in your contract is that you you do a little bit of a discount for clients who book with a planner. Yeah, so we certainly do. Yes, I respect that. And I love that that you're in cart, you're not just encouraging them you are you're minimizing you're incentivizing them to to to work with someone who can help them more than just a venue representative. You know, that's not something that you want to necessarily get in the weeds on. You don't want to deal with all the things that we deal with. Right? So I love that you have made that right. So important. And it helps you in the long run. Absolutely. Yeah, hundred percent less work on your part after the fact because they the wedding planner helps clean up helps get everything ready. Well, ultimately, you've got one person that's coming to you with questions instead of 25 You know, they're hopefully they're coming to us and we're like, hey, let me go check on that. And and then we bother you with things but hopefully we make things easier for you in the long run. Yeah, more and more as we've been in business, the more we have come to appreciate planers like it's a when we first open it's kinda like Girl Power, you can do it, we did it. And then after we got to know planners and see planners and be involved with all of the back end of things on wedding day, it's like what on earth were we thinking? I mean, seriously, like, you don't know what you don't know you don't. Right. And so that's another thing like not having experience in the wedding industry that we've learned of events. Power let them do it and that girl use their power to do it you use your power planners are amazing and we every even every showing is done. I mean, we're not even down to that. But we say it every showing. Yeah, you can budget it powerful planner because it will make a world of difference stress wires and enjoy. Especially now with everything going on. Oh my god bless you. If you don't have a planner, like I don't know how I don't either without experience having to deal with all this. I can't I can't really handle that. Of course. No panic, of course. Yeah, for sure. So in the four years, you've owned this venue. What's the coolest experience you've had? At the ballroom? No, no, let's go best and worst. Okay, go like us. Yeah, we want to hear horror stories. Yeah. And you can protect the names of the innocent you don't share that is Brock and Amanda. I can think of one or both of us that I don't even want to talk about but we had one Do you remember? See it wasn't that a terrible the her time? Yeah. Now you're that's also involved, I think with the best. Sure. Okay. Okay. Like I just was talking about just the lounge setup that she had created. The bride had want more of like a nightclub kind of nightclub? Yeah. For the party part. Yeah, that was candy bar and just amazing lighting light works at a phenomenal job on that just really bring like such a cool vibe to the space. I love seeing the versatility that comes from every different wedding. But that one was especially memorable. They had a lot of dance floor. Yeah, I just got into that one. I did. I'm sorry. Okay, go ahead. But that was definitely a memorable one. Some of the things that I stand out to me most are the things that are done out of tradition. So I've had a bride walk down the aisle with her mom, that was beautiful. I've also had a bride from Missouri who her dad was injured. And so he wasn't able to walk her down the aisle. But her sister and brother walked her down one half way and the other half way and her grandpa the rest of it was beautiful. Sweet. And so I just love anything that is just like you be you what matters most to you. Like don't don't necessarily think you have to stick to tradition. I don't. I love traditional elements to a point but also love it when brides are like, you know what, that's not me. I'm gonna do this instead. I'm like, Yes. It's so memorable. I know, like weddings in general, over the last decade, have become more of what do we like? Agree? Not so much tradition? Because I get hit up all the time. What music should we play? play whatever you want. What do you want, like me? Like I can make recommendations? Yeah, tell you. Here's what you traditionally here's my what you might want to hear. But what do you like? Yeah, you don't have to walk down the aisle to the Here comes the bride. Oh, anything like that? It's like, Yeah, what has been Yeah, I love that to see what the couples choose what was the nature it's amazing when some couples put like a real lot of thought into their music choices and their ceremony especially Yeah, reception. You know, it's kind of a given that I think they're gonna put some thought into the party music, but I love when they put some pretty sincere thought into what they're going to walk down the aisle to and like the music that's important for that. So I love that we have to go back and talk about the bad story though. Now that we've we talked about the good part of it. I've got it because I love the lounge part. But where is the disaster in this story? I don't even know where to begin with this. But we hit we had some hazers some kind of fog machine machines essentially that had been tested had been I mean, they were guaranteed to not mess with their their smoke system. Oh, so we made it almost at the end of the night. I mean, we were about to like shut it down. And I keep hearing this. And it's I don't realize but it's happening a lot. But the music is so loud that nobody really noticed it. I was like I just kept noticing something thank goodness sparkler. Like our sprinklers didn't turn on and things that weren't crazy. Crazy. And she might never have spoken to me again. But the the I guess the fire department had to come eventually. Yeah. And that's where we were protecting you a little bit. Of course, just phone call after phone call after phone call. They're like you're getting a trip. You're getting a trip because we're like we're checking on it. There's nothing there's nothing and we kept looking at fine. I mean it Yeah. And so staff was like opening doors like you guys want to cool off. And so are fanning out some of the the fog or whatever. But then, you know, we got the calls where they're like you need to shut it down or the sprinklers are about to go off and so and so we're like, oh, Lord, please, please, please, please just get them out the door before this happens. Yeah. And it ended up being a situation where we just kind of had to be like, okay, they had I think y'all had to have to turn the foggers off. Right. I think it'd be an angel but it took a while for the smoke for the fog to finally dissipate. And I think it it coded the thermostat, a thermometer or something. It did something kind of crazy to the they had to have them clean and everything. So thankfully Brianne took my calls again after that I didn't think she ever would but it was pretty dramatic at the time I worked with a wedding planner who blew a transformer and they didn't have power for an hour. So that also happened to me. Oh, yeah, that was somebody I'd worked with. It was that. I mean, there was no power for a little bit. You can't DJ a wedding. Hey, if there's no power had a solution, though. That's the thing that would have happened regardless of any situation. We could have given about that. But who says tomato? No, no, no, stop it. So that's it. That's the craziest story that you have. Have you ever had anybody catch anybody doing drugs at your venue? Oh, no, that's good. hasn't caught them at least Yeah, right. Yeah. I try to hide in one of the stalls myself when I'm sure I do. Drugs. No, I but I've been to venues where they've had to stop weddings, because yeah, people were doing drugs. Really? Yeah. Not even a job. Yeah, I feel like I don't know. I think it's just the chandelier is maybe honestly that people are like, Oh, this is a classy place. They aren't cool. Like the day that you guys were putting those up. I was in there setting up for your open house. And I remember one of the guys think hit it with his head and broke book, one of the strands got fixed, putting the lift up in the air. Yeah, went up wrong and hit it and it is a classy place. Don't do that. Don't do that. That's awesome. All right. So we do a segment called wedding opinions. So I'm going to ask you a series of questions. And you just give your opinion, no right or wrong answer. So here we go. bouquet and garter toss. What's your opinion? You know, always the garter? Well, it's more like the What do you even call that? Like the garter pool? Get right. Okay, here interesting, where they set their head underneath. Yeah, it's like, we get the geography back. And then you're looking through the pictures. You'll get a picture of the people in the background. It's kind of fun. Or that song that's going on? They want to look away Well, it's always county you know, it's always pony. Yeah, it's like where's the father the bride at this point? Probably outside. You know, but those are those are not always Tony. I play butterfly kisses myself. Do you? do yoga underneath the whole other level? And then you just look at her dad. Look here running so deep. So I think it should go away. Amanda likes that. Okay, I'm just not a fan of either. Because it's antiquated. What do you think? I mean, I get the new I mean, there you go. You know, what else can you throw? Well, they will they, they, some weddings, they'll give the okay to the couple that's been married the longest. And then they have a structure. That's cute. Okay, or they will throw out a football or something else. And then give them a bottle of some kind of alcohol. It is sad when the okay like just gets destroyed. Like stems you're like? Yeah. All right. Next question. Oh, kids at a wedding. Oh. Cuz you have kids, your mom and we know. Yeah. How old are your kids? 1414 and 12. So they're old enough that they could come to a wedding. They're not kids anymore. But kids. They see my kids versus like my sister's kids. For instance. They are polar opposites. Like they're that oh, this is beautiful. Two girls two. This is beautiful. We just want to stare at the bride and we just want to look and soak it all in. As in my kids are like, when can we leave? Right here? I don't care about any of this. You're like, Can I watch my phone while we eat this? Yes, you can. Yes. I'm just like, I don't personally want my kids anywhere. Share with me at a nice formal event just because I want to enjoy. Exactly. Yeah. Why would you want to take your kids to a nice wedding when you could have a date night? Right. And yeah, eat for free? Yeah, have a good time. You don't need your baby or your little one there distracting if anyone wants to do business? I thought it'd be an amazing idea. Yes, we're a company to open up like a Saturday night just to kind of have things Saturday night daycare, essentially. I think it's not a thing. It's not a same thing with dogs. We need it for pups to people who want their dogs taken care of. So that's the thing to know. I guess bringing gifts to the reception. You may not have an opinion on this if you don't have an opinion. Just a pass. I mean, we have security cameras that Okay, yeah, and I know that there's been a few scares around. Yeah, that there. Yeah. With gift cards and things. So I think the boxes are great. Obviously. If you're gonna have a gift card have a locked box. Like that open mic toasting. I love toast. You probably don't need it. Well, open mic toasty where you just like alright, anybody we're gonna open mic. Yeah, no, no, no, it no good. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just love the dads. I love hearing what they have to say or like a, you know, a bridesmaid or groomsman that has a funny story. Like those are the best. I love laughing at the reception, and what story is it that I don't know? And most people don't know probably, we had a bride one of her bridesmaids one time bringing in a whole she was their roommate. And she brought them like loads of toilet paper, which would have been golden for right now. Oh, right. Just like Here you go, we're done. This is my gift to you to make up for everything that was used. And oh, that's funny. Funny. It is a thank you gift for being on our show. We do have a roll. One to get one. It's basically sandpaper but actually, it wasn't to fly, but we split it more. So. Alright, give me a like. Like really like a toilet paper? First Look, what do you think about it first? And you know, I get this question like every showing? Really? Yeah, because we have the lounge there for everybody to hang out together. Once they have a first look at they're gonna have on again, my first look so long ago, 17 years ago was it was new at the time. And so they're like, Yeah, let's do some, okay all about it. Because I don't want to be weepy going down the aisle. Nick is not a Wi Fi person. So I knew there was no problem there, you'll be good. But for his family, he was coming in from out of town. They were there extra early, which I appreciated to not be late, but they didn't have any place to go in a chapel. So we had no privacy. So here we are on our first look. And and there was family and some people, you know, that I did not really know yet watching. And so I and you know, it was an it wasn't very intimate. No, definitely not. And so I feel like that I Oh, First Look, I didn't get that. And yeah, so I was sad about that. So I tell couples, but then there's also couples that have been to the venues that have loved that because they got more time with their fiance, husband, spouse throughout the day. Yeah. And so it's really just consideration, which is another reason why it's great to have a planner to think that through for for you, because obviously I didn't know. And so sure, yeah. Interesting. Your take on it. What's your perspective? I love it. First Look, I love for the time savings for the for the pictures, the intimacy in the photos for so many reasons, but i do i think i think it does help just like you said to kind of he's not weepy, but you are. But it kind of helps it to kind of bring it down a notch and make it not so emotional. Remember, I think you probably do, I think you can kind of breathe and be like, Okay, this is happening. So I know my in a first look just makes the reception start sooner. So yesterday standing around, like, when are they getting here? What are we waiting on? Well, photographers taking a little bit longer because they didn't get any pictures beforehand. And two hours into it. Yeah, all the appetizers are eaten down. You're just I think it depends too on a couple. So if they want a shorter reception, they're not big dancers, right. It's okay, but right. If they're all about the party and the dance, you know, then let's do something. Well, and I will say with a careful with careful planning, and that's where a planner comes in. But with careful planning, you can work around that longer time after the ceremony for photos, if the couple doesn't want to do a first look. And they decide that that's just not for them. You know, we can plan around that the guests have already been fed, everybody's waiting for them at the parties where you start as soon as the couple comes around. So but I think that's where it comes in. You've got to really decide what's important because if somebody doesn't want to do first look, and they want to sit down and eat dinner with all their guests, right? You can't have you came about with it just doesn't work that way. So yeah, I want to ask you about band or DJ, no pressure on the answer there. Makes a DJ banner DJ, no, I I like a good concert. Uh huh. But maybe not at a wedding. Okay, just because the ballroom has good acoustics. But it's so loud. Like, I can tell the difference when I work in event DJ versus band. I have a headache every time there's a band. So I just makes me wonder, Is it just me because I'm not part of the I can't go dance even though sometimes I want to Yeah. And so I'm not tuning that out, so to speak. I just wonder if guess I haven't guessed after it. And it's, I think when you're in it, and you're dancing, it's a little you don't notice it as much right? Louder doesn't always mean better. Because Yeah, I mean, better on some of my DJs at events. I'm like, Man, it's so loud. turned down like that. You got to turn it down. Why do you have it so loud? But everybody on the dance floor is going nuts, right? And I'm standing at the back. I'm like, if I can hear this loud back here. It's so loud up there. So yeah, you're probably right when when you're in it, you don't tell us it depends on to like, we've seen a couple bands where like, they let people come up and like bang on the drums and stuff in those, you know, they seem to have a lot of fun with that I got there in the building the entire time, so I don't have to. So that's probably another thing too, like going in and out not being there the whole time. And we've got to discuss this planner or do it yourself. Oh, I think I've thoroughly covered no pressure there either. But I mean 100 and 1 million times a year and there's just a random one rsvps What should you prefer sending it in with a card or virtually online? I mean, why not do both? I mean most of the things you can find free ones. I appreciate being able to go online to our RSVP for events, but I think some nostalgia with the older guest list likes filling that in and writing the last name. I always forget this really did lots of people do like I get I'm like, Okay, I'll do this. And oh, the date was a month ago. I should have told them right and then you feel bad. Yeah. Like, do I go? Do I just go and not eat or do I not go? Yeah. Okay, pressure. Next question. Should the bridesmaids and groomsmen be responsible for the cost of their own outfits? Yeah, I know. What about your wedding? How many bridesmaids and groomsmen did you have? I had three okay. of each. Yeah, we bought their dresses. And I don't know, their girls would have to rent their own tux. I know but the fact that you bought their dresses, that's, that's a big cost. Because you're basically asking somebody to give up a weekend be in your wedding. And then foot the bill for that. Yeah, whether that's travel and it's a lot to ask someone, honestly. Okay. Do you have an extra $502,000? Yeah, you want to stay to hang out with me? Just for the weekend? Yeah, not talking about the bachelor party. We're not talking. You can wear that dress. You know, you just need to go on, like 20 cruises. Exactly. Yeah, my sister is that she was the one who is like the movie. What is it? 21 years or something? Yes. And so I would always be like, Okay, what dresses? You got? A crew What you got? That's true. What's your mom? prom? prom. All problems are amazing. I've never been to one. I'm DJing one in June. Amazing, by the way, so hopefully. Yeah, moms please stand at least six feet apart from each other. Yeah, you know that you will never see a dad prom. Never dads or dads? Daddy daughter though. There's not really any mother. dances now but moms you get a mom in a room with each other and they go nuts. They're great with it. Yeah, slow dance so fast dance doesn't matter dues on the other hand, just line the walls in general. Some dudes are into it. My friend Brian. He's into it. guy behind the scenes. All right. Here's a couple more questions. What's the best way you seem to send off a couple at the end of the night? Amanda's into something called fingerling or something oh my god there's a gold finger guns What is this thing hold again? Everybody goes like this weird name finger slingers fingers slingers Oh like you there confetti things that you like throws but it's not mess because I know you know you don't know that but the confetti is long strong ribbons fingers slingers and then attached still and you just go away it's amazing environment Priscilla Priscilla's oh my god was composed No no, it just did. It's like long streamers and then once they're detached Oh, she's seen she I'm not gonna do with her. Yeah, you should have brought some finger slingers in it. But yeah, let's pretend like we got fingers fingers and and then you you have it on your hand and you're rolling like literally you keep doing it now you don't want because like you can't retract it. It's like a Yo Yo, yo yo one use finger slingers, but I started a company recently that have more than one use, stop. If you would all please put your finger slingers back in the bucket if you don't want to see anything or slingers on the ground. Or you need to rename it. Or burn the name. I'll tell you worse, right? Well, that's what I have to say with with sparklers. Yeah, if you throw your sparkler on the ground, I will set you on fire. Personally, feel like Okay, put them in the buckets, hold them up high. Don't set yourself on fire thrown on the ground. I'll set you I'm not even playing with you. Alright, and our final question on winning opinions big over the top party or small intimate gathering with your nearest and dearest, how do you prefer? Oh, so good. I know. That's a hard question. We're like even medium size? Well, I mean, you could answer that to the size really matter though. Oh, my gosh, we're not going here. That's your other podcast? I'm talking about the size of the wedding. Does it really matter? I think when it when it's super, super large. It's I think it again takes away from your new spouse, you know, because I'm one that thinks that if that person has traveled or sent a gift or whatever, like you immediately say hi, but it's so hard. Like there's not enough time for that. Mm hmm. Or even meeting people that are on your significant others side. It just makes it hard. And so I think the smaller party, honestly is more memorable. And just a lot more time to do to be together is the most important because if you're inviting them three 400 people, you're having to pay for three to 400 meals and the alcohol and the chairs all the things that go along with it. So for everybody that knows a seat that looked at my wedding list, I'm like, do I really care about this person? Do I really care about like, when was the last time I saw this person? Yeah. What do you bring a gift? Yeah.