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Kids at a Wedding?


We've all seen (heard) it - the most emotional, magical part of the ceremony, interrupted by a screeching bundle of joy. When is it appropriate for children to attend a wedding? How are guests to know if they're invited or not? We'll walk you through the clues you need to know to properly let people know who is and isn't, invited!


*Below is the automated transcript of the above video


Hey, I'm Brock with Brock entertainment and Amanda with Amanda Reed weddings. And this is the IDOIQ Podcast where each and every week we're gonna be discussing the latest in wedding and event trend. And we're going to let you know all the things that you need to know in order to make your event the most special. Yeah, and Indian, you will have the best wedding and event experience ever. And something tells me we're going to have a little fun along the way. I don't know about that. I'm a pretty serious guy, man. And this is a serious topic. So only seriousness, serious business. This is the IDOIQ podcast. Let's begin. I am Brock. And I'm Amanda and it's the I do IQ podcast. Amanda How you doing this? Fine Day? It's fine day. Yeah, I'm fine doing doing fine on this Monday. So we have decided because we loved having Mike on a few weeks ago so much that we want to do every episode with a drink. You decided just so we can taste new drinks and discuss them and it just makes us feel a little bit loose. Do we have a problem? Maybe? I don't know. No. But to be seen today. We talked about this a couple weeks ago and I brought in the wrong kind. Yeah, you did. But today we're gonna do screwball. And that's the peanut butter whiskey of choice for me. Right. So this is a little bit more expensive than the other screwball I brought in that was not so much and then I found another one called sheep dog. That is about $10 cheaper, and it was pretty good. Okay, not as smooth as this though. Okay, so you weren't a huge fan of the last one. It was all right. It okay. I have a butterscotch effect. And I wasn't terrible. It's just whiskies not my bourbon forte. Yeah, it's not my thing. So it wasn't mine either. Until I tried this. Yeah. And then I became a man. It's strong. I think I'm about to because I want you to go first and give us your your opinion. All right. Well, I just had gum also. So have I'm gonna How's it going? pretty well. Peanut butter and men peanut butter. sandwiches flavor, you know? We'll see. All right, go for it. Just shoot it. No, you sip. It's a sipping whiskey. Yeah, it looks cool when you do it. Let's settle that. Mo. What do you think? What do you think? I don't know. It's better. It's a lot more better than the other movie. It is. You just don't love them. You know? I do get peanut butter. There you go. It hits on the back end. Yeah, tell us you're gonna get wasted here. We're gonna have whiskey is gonna Yeah. Is it whiskey, or is it bourbon? No, that's whiskey. Whiskey contains peanuts. You're not allergic to peanuts. Oh, no, just kidding. Yeah. There's screwball peanut butter whiskey to the Misfits, black sheep and screwballs. I like it. 70 proof alcohol by volume. 35%. All right. Yeah. Cooler bottle. For sure. bottle. So this would be a good groomsmen gift. It would be I think, I think it's a cute bottle. You know, this is a miles drink right here. Definitely. You see him holding it taking a picture or selfie? Yeah. What was the whiskey that he actually what is it? He does? His Yeah, like he took He's like, this is expensive stuff. I taste them. Like, you can have it. I don't want to do that. I'm not a whiskey guy, except for screwball love screwball. Alright, so today's topic, we thought you know what I get this question asked and I am very opinionated on this question. Kids at a wedding. Yeah, kids at a wedding as a wedding planner, you get asked this question a lot. I get asked a lot. I get asked that a whole lot. And I can't be as opinionated. Yes. And sometimes kids are part of it. Right? I don't get to say no, you can't have kids. But you feel strongly you don't think you should have kids there? Okay, here's how we can know that. Or you do have kids will hear some things we can maybe do to like keep them entertained. So I've got some horror stories about kids. And I've got I mean, I don't know. Well, why don't you talk first? opinions? Well, I'll start off with my own wedding. So being a DJ, yeah, I have seen kids at weddings. And they tend to run the dance flow from time to time. If they're little, little kids and they run out on the dance floor first, then they adults will just stand around and watch them as a DJ like horrible. Yeah, we'll get them off the dance floor. Get them off the dance floor. Yeah. So at my wedding, this was almost 10 years ago, I decided I do not want kids at my wedding. Yeah, and because of this, we're gonna put that in the invitation. No kids cannot bring kids adults only we didn't have any alcohol at the wedding. So that wasn't an issue. It wasn't because there's gonna be a crazy party just didn't. I just didn't want kids. Yeah, you know, I didn't have any nieces or nephews. You know, I wasn't surrounded by kids. But I always felt like if you do have a kid, why would you want to bring him to a wedding? Nice to have a date night one? Yeah, it's nice to have like a you know, a away so something I think it starts with the invitation though. So like when and a lot of people don't know and or follow this protocol. If they're not listed on the invitation. They're not invited. See, I didn't know that. Yeah, it is a plus one. It doesn't mean plus your your spouse and your five kids. No, it means okay. No. And so typically, like if they know you will have to invite you to their wedding. They know the plus one is it's not your wife like they know your wife's name. It's your significant other or right and a lot of people don't even invite a plus one like, you know Maybe wedding party doesn't even get a plus one sometimes. But yeah, the kids if they are not listed if their little jack and little Suzy are not listed on the invitation, they're not invited PSA, your kids not listening invitation. They're not invited. Yeah. Well, that's good to know. Because I really did not know that well, but a lot of people were like, oh, but they don't mean my kids. Here. Let me let me preface this. I'm never invited to weddings. No, I'm not because I tell my friends. I'm not going to your wedding. Unless you hire me. You gotta pay me because I'm gonna be at another wedding that is paying me to be there. So even my brothers I'm like, Yeah, sorry. If I'm DJing your wedding? I'll come but if I'm not met. No, I mean, that's the thing. You've got to go back to that very first piece with the invitations. And you know, if you're working with this stationer that does this all the time. I know that but if you're going online and ordering which that's a big trend, people are ordering invitations online a lot. There's not a person sitting there telling you this is not appropriate. Like you need to you need to not you know, tell them that the children are not invited. People don't know that. We just put I think at the bottom adults only Yeah, no children, please or something. And I've had a lot of people who will add like an adult only affair. Yeah, by the invitation. They still think doesn't mean my kids. No, I don't mean like does mean your kids they don't they love my kids. No. Not as the one and another thing that I didn't like, and the reason we didn't want kids is inevitably at a ceremony. Yeah. In the middle of the vows. You hear all these kid noises? It's like I hired a videographer. Yeah. expensive. And I don't want my video in my memory. To be like, do you love this person? Say I do. And I didn't want that. can't edit that out? No. I'm like, Oh, so the only kids we had at our wedding. We had two kids. Yeah, we had Kim's niece. I think her and the other girl were both three. Kim's nice because her brother and sister were in the wedding. So she was gonna be there. Right. So her and then my other friend who was also in the wedding, his three year old niece. Okay. And so those two girls were in the wedding. As soon as they walked up, they were taken back. And at the reception, they stayed with their parents the whole time. I've had several situations. I mean, it's cute. Sometimes when like the, the ring bearer walks down the middle of the aisle and just sits down. I mean, like things like that happen. And it's like, oh, that's a cute picture, or the flower girl comes up and like is throwing flowers and people's like, there's some cute stuff. Well, my daughter was in Blake's wedding. Yeah. And it was at the Rivington and she got stage fright. And about a fourth of the way down the aisle. She stopped. And you know, my brother, he didn't care. It wasn't a big deal. Right. So I ran down there because I'm a groomsman. Standing up there. I ran down there. And you know, say Come on, and picked her up, took her and then sat her down with her mom, but she was born. She will. How old was she? That was five, four years ago. Yeah, she was like, three. I think she was three. But she just got stage fright. I mean, I had one ceremony one time where flower girl was supposed to go right before, right? As usual. And I mean, she was just like, yo, yeah, and that happens a lot. And to do it in her dad was so going, come on one. And I was like, No, it doesn't matter. The musician has no idea that this is going on. She has to go. And I was like, she can't go. So I mean, and I'd already talked I'd already talked to the bride about that. I was like, if you know for some reason this kid and as we try to make a plan with the bride prior especially if we know there's kids in it, they might act out they might be a little just unruly kids gonna do and so we definitely try to like have a conversation. What do you want me to do? Sometimes moms are not very happy about it. But I'm like, it's I'm sorry. It's not about you. It's about that bride at that moment. It's about getting that beautiful girl down the aisle. Right dress. I don't want that. I mean, I don't want that to be ruined for the little girl either but or the or the little or whoever the time. Yeah, but there was one I just was like, get rid of her like, she's gotta go. She's gotta go. So my idea was always to hire little people avidly actors totally to dress up in the same because they're not gonna cry. They're gonna do the job and do it amazing. Their best wedding. I went to for one of my DJs and he had it at the Fayetteville airport. Yes. Area field. Yeah, Drake field and his to his best friend and his wife's best friend dressed up as little kids and walked up the aisle. Stop it. It was all he dressed up in like a pilot uniform. And the girl dressed up in like a flower girl dress. They're all down the aisle, but they're adults. Yeah, dad made a hilarious and they had no kids at the wedding. They're like they were in lieu of the kids. So I've had I've had flower grands before grandmothers Oh, that's cool. was really like that. It was adorable. And that's a unique idea. Oh my gosh, I will never forget that people will be like now that is awesome. And grandma's not gonna mess it Oh, grandma unless she trips balls and you know hurts her hip. I've fallen and I can't get up we're so bad. No it was that was a sweet moment that we had one bride go with that idea once but I was like unloved it so I've had grandmother's act as like hostesses before and kind of like that, but never never the flower. So do you know where The flower girl ring bear that tradition came from flower girls actually that's kind of interesting that you ask I've just done a little research oh you know that just happened to know guys are this sort of you know there's this folklore yeah yeah. And they say that it like flowers or you know prosperity and children like it's like bringing good luck to the Oklahoman. So they sprinkle the flowers for the for the bride and groom for prosperity and for children. That's that story is about and I think children doing it is probably like, you know, but it doesn't have to be a kid. No, it doesn't. I mean, it could be your grandmother. Oh, just cute. And then like ring bears. I mean, like that's, you know, obviously just giving him the ring. But yeah, typically as a little boy, I don't know what like page boys that kind of started as a page boy anyway, the trail the dress trying? Yeah, and the ring. And now the boy usually doesn't even carry it. I don't like letting know that three rooms and has it? Yeah, I mean, they'll carry a little pillow or a little box doesn't have anything in it. I don't feel like it's probably wise to put an expensive ring in the hands of a three year old. No, you know, just No, just just me. This is now time for a break from screwball peanut butter whiskey. This episode is brought to you by that not yet brought to you by us. If you bring a kid to the wedding, you're gonna need a lot of superball. That's true. So you get asked by brides this a lot. And what's your response to them? You know, most brides have a strong opinion one way or the other? Nope. I've got my niece and I love these kids. They've got to be there. I want everybody or they're like, yeah, like, you know, I don't like it. No, they're very. So the challenge is then just to how do we how do we handle it? What are we going to Yeah, cuz i just i have to be kind of Switzerland. Like I have to just be like, okay, you want kids? They're cool. No kids. Okay, cool. I did have one little boy, one time I'd forgotten about this. During the ceremony. It was a ceremony where like, half the venue was divided. Like there was a dry hole in the spaces. And he was getting a little antsy. And I guess he had, he must have been a ring bearer, because it was in a cute little suit. But he must have like, after this, you know, after he did his job, he came behind the curtain. And he's supposed to sit with me during the ceremony behind the curtain. And I was like, other things. But that's so we had all the candy for the candy buffet later underneath the buffet table. And I was like, Hey, come here. Go for a kid go to town and the candy buffet. Yeah. So he probably was like, you know, yeah, I just still don't understand as a parent, why you would want to take your kid I don't remember taking Brimley to any wedding. No, I had one situation where my husband couldn't go and I took my daughter as my last one. How old are she though? Five baby. Okay. We but it was like I wasn't taking her as like, no, like she was by my side the whole night. We hung out together just kind of a little girls night. And I and that was one I knew that my kid wasn't you. My children were ride riding. I had RSVP for my husband. But he couldn't make couldn't go. And so I just took my daughter. And we went and had a little girls night. And she danced and we had a fun time we were together. I didn't just like let her run wild. That's the thing to me. A lot of times the kids are unattended, and they're getting into stuff. Yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of things that could go wrong, and you just don't need kids like climbing into. So if you do choose to have kids at your wedding, which most people do, yeah, what are some things that you could have those kids to keep their attention. So they're not running around, they're not running on the dance floor, you get those kids that during the first dance, they're running out there, in the middle of the pictures in the video and you're like, come on, parent, come on, grab your kid, this is a very important moment for this couple. They don't want to see your kid running on the dance floor standing right next to the bride like pulling on a dress, which has happened and that drives me nuts is not in my wedding. You know, I've had a lot of times we'll do like babysitting services and things like that. So even if the kids are there, or they're able to go to a different area and the venue, they just got somebody there to kind of keep track of them. Is there a company that you can hire? No, but that's a business that's a great idea for businesses. Same with pets. I ran into that well people and I know this is not the top really bringing pets. Well not bringing their pets but like if they're like cute dogs or the ring bearer and like their dogs, right? Well, what do you do with the with the dog? trot around so you have to hire somebody or watch a dog friend who was not invited to your wedding, but you care enough about them to come pick it up? All right. super awkward. Like, oh, yeah, like you, like only well enough to hang out. But if you give them a bottle of screwball, then they will be happy. All right. So anyway, but yeah, so you you hire somebody and so I mean, we've we've hired babysitters often, like had a separate room, or back at the hotel. So what do you do at some venues say like the ravings Yeah, or a lot of these venues in this area don't have separate areas that you can just yeah, this is for the kids. It's not like a hotel where you could rent out a whole nother room. And there are venues who actually prefer no children anyway. Yeah. ask that you don't bring kids raving. Oh, wait, I just had a great idea. I tried. Yeah, a mobile baby sitting in it. Like it'd be like a big bus. Yeah. And inside. There's video games are things for kids to play with mobile video games. Yeah, but this is for babysitting. That's actually a great idea. So like different areas for different ages. That's a great oh my gosh, what are we calling it? I don't know. We'll think screwball never call it name screwball. That's a terrible No, well, I'm just starting this process. You know, the idea is a good idea. I mean, it really is, I think it's something that could that could actually be a great, we would have to invest in a big vehicle and then retrofit it for it had to be bigger than like a, like a FedEx truck. Like it needs to be like big enough, because how can you get him? That's not? It would have to be? I don't know, like, I don't know, development process. But you'd have to be, you know, I don't know what kind of insurance you would need for that with the kids. Yeah, they would have to? Well, it's like going to IKEA and dropping your kids off. Right? When you walk in through at the playground area tree except a little bit smaller. I don't know how that would work. But you could have food for them and everything. I like it. I like it. And I do. I mean, I like situations like that where you can just give your kids something fun to do. They don't want to sit there any longer any more than you do. Yeah, you know, new babies, I think about the loud. I don't I don't think bringing a newborn to a wedding is with my friend and I really wanted to be at a wedding. I get it. Watch the video afterwards. You come for a little while. And I mean, people do all kinds of for lots of different reasons. So I don't want to you know, I'm Switzerland. I still am. But I personally, like have a date night. Right? You know, even if it's a short evening, you know, but don't don't try not to bring your kid. Well, in one instance where kids might be welcome is if that person get married as a teacher. Sure. Like we invited our whole class. We want the class that I get that that happens. It's all circumstantial, but in general, yeah. As a kid, I didn't like go into wedding. No, like, why, Mom, why do we gotta go to this wedding? Oh, I gotta wear this suit. Yeah. And there was when I was a kid, there was no dancing. So it was basically it was always done at my dad's church, you would go from there to either downstairs before we had an extra area to do cake cutting and cakes, cut the cake, and they do the toasting thing with the punch. And then they open presents in front of you never been to one of those. Oh, that's all it was when I was a kid. Oh, that's paint opening up presence in front of all your guests. I've never seen that before. We used to do that baby showers like that too. At the church. Yeah, but they would open up their gifts in front of everyone. You're like, oh, who's that from? That's from them. Like Thanks, guys. Tell ya. That sounds so many towels. So I didn't even go to a wedding. That was normal. Normal. Like we know him today with dancing until college. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Like what? This is what a wedding is supposed to be like. Are you kidding me? There's a DJ and there's a dancing portion. Yeah, what? Oh my gosh, I had no idea. I've never I've never heard of them. So always at the church. Yeah. And then indicate and there was not even any food. It wasn't like they brought a meal in it was cake and punch. Like every time I definitely went to my share of cake and punch weddings. Yeah, day mints. And that. Yep. And then birdseed as they go out? Yeah, yeah, that for sure. But I've never seen the gift opening during this. Yes. Wow. That's pain. Oh my gosh, so much gift opening. That does not sound it was it was so boring. Yeah, that's boring. So boring. If you're not being fed, you're all you have is meant to sustain you that doesn't like you get married up here. All right, let's go to the reception area, which is in the basement. Wow. And let's do this. Yeah, never the it was bad. There's a book that I've read, actually. And we're totally off topic, but I love it. Yeah, a book that I've read. And it's I wish they put out a new a new edition of it. But it's about like the building of the wedding industry. Like how it has changed so dramatically. So much. It is unbelievable. And it's I mean, it's a billion, billion dollar industry. I made $2 billion myself, me. But it's just fascinating how things have changed from your hat to to what we now have. So if you do have kids, some of the options you can I mean, I think having activities for them, I think things for them were some good activities, honestly, like little presence that like they can open up their table, whether you have a kids table or not, but at least a little gift bag for each kid that's like, full of things to find entertaining and food that they're going to eat. They don't most kids don't want a steak and why would you want to waste the money? Right? You can you can pay say for instance, $10 for the chicken finger mill, right, or $20 for the state I have. I have chef shuttled chick fil a Yeah, weddings many times. Why not? That's what they Yeah, they'd much rather have that. And even in certain venues that maybe provide their own food, but a lot of times they're like, we don't want to make another chicken nugget meal. Yeah, so we're completely good. Yes, you can bring in chick fil a, or McDonald's or whatever. They're fine with that, which is surprising. But we'd much rather focus on the $90 ahead dinner that we're going to be providing then than that. Yeah. So yeah, having food that they'll actually eat having snacks like goldfish and you know, juice boxes and that kind of stuff that kids actually ask somebody with kids. If you ask people with kids get a lot of sugar. That's all that matters. If you have kids just get some sugar and throw it on the table sugar cubes, throw them on the table so they can have a little like coloring book And like little like some kids like are super into like the little Lego packs or there's my my son used to be really into these blind bags and where you don't know i'm sure Brimley has had to deceive a son that and love these little what were they? Oh my gosh, what are they called? I know what you should put in those those bags give him gummies but melatonin gummies so they're like, popping these gummies and next thing you know, they're on the floor. They're all asleep. So imagine imagine x figures like Yeah, yeah, like those little things and those little characters and stuff they could play with like the entire time and then make them for girls. I would honestly that's what I would do. Yeah, it's just lots of little things that you know, they're not going to be crushed if they forget it. a note that says you shouldn't be here horrible. What Mom What is this? What is this? You shouldn't be Ah, he said no kids but we didn't think you didn't mean you. Like we thought they liked you. It's not that we don't like you. That we just didn't want you to hear I want to hang out with you. Not Not tonight not on this special night. I really am that I mean I'm like the biggest my my takeaway for today is like if if your kid is not listed on the invitation, and if your aunt is not listed on the mountain, and if your cousin is not like you can just bring whoever you want ask Yes. And if you don't get a plus one if you if it's not listed on there, they're not invited. You know that for the couple that you're and don't call them ask they're gonna say yes, because I don't want to hurt you. I don't know. Just No, no, no No that if your name if it says rock short. Yeah, it's only rock short. Right? And if it's rock short plus one or n guest Yes. Bring a guest okay that your fair game unless it says no children no children don't bring bring your paid. No, I never would think to bring her I'm not dumb. Alright, so tell me do you have Do you have a horror story of a Canada wedding? I'm sure there's been some at the weddings. I've been at it just annoying stuff sure that the kids pulling on the dress or you know just not paying attention run around screaming annoying stuff. But what am i DJ is one time told me this story is like, Oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe what happened to my wedding. Oh, gosh, the one of the kids might have been the ring bearer, or one of the kids during the dancing. You know, he cleared the dance floor and he was acting crazy the whole time ended up pulling down his pants he's a little took it took a whiz right on the dance floor. Everyone he didn't care who might have been four or five. He didn't give two craps. He didn't care. You know, he didn't take a dump on the dance floor. I mean, at least that didn't happen. You know. Look at the bright side. His dad was over in the corner drinking some screwball. Oh, my, you know, I did have one I couldn't think earlier of a story. But I do remember having a wedding was in a very high end venue. Kids are allowed. But I mean, and I just wouldn't take my kids and certainly would not leave them unattended. No rice, and there were probably 10 or 12 children at this wedding. who I am. If I recall, they'd said an adult only affair on the invitation. And people still brought it because people in the family people care or respect anything. You're drunk. Just stop as was. Oh, you Amanda. You're beautiful. I think I love you. You're so beautiful. He proposed to me like that five times. I think I was gonna say stop it. So cool. I'm so jealous. Anyway. So no, like they they brought probably I think there were probably six or 10 kids. I don't know a lot of children. And they gone down in this section of this venue, which was a museum Okay, to be honest, it was a museum and they had like, drawn all over all this like, No, well, not on not on like art right. But that just like it was something like they had like what you're supposed to create your own art. But the family was like, Yeah, you're supposed to be in there. Just go ahead. And they were like, they'd made a giant mess. And of course, my team had to go into Yeah, and there was like crown on the Lord. Oh, this is not that's not okay. No, I have done. It just reminds me of kids in general. I did a ceremony at this venue. And it was a barn area and they had a second floor. The parents took the kids, this family took their kids up to the second floor. And all you could hear was the kids running around back and forth the whole ceremony. And everybody's looking at me. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, are you kidding me? Oh my god. Like, is this happening? And it wasn't quiet. It was like, really loud. Oh, that's so bad. Oh, and I think at some of those weddings, squirrel, I'll go up and be like, gotta be quiet. You got it. You weren't in a place where you can? No, no, I was in. I was stuck. Like, well, this is it is what it is. I mean, I've had to show the wedding party a few times. Like pick an area. Yeah, but I've never had kids run around like that. Oh my gosh, that. I just went over there. took off my belt started spanking. I love. I love kids. I have kids. I love kids. I really do. And I mean, I they're cute. They're funny. Even the things that people think aren't funny sometimes. They're kids, it's fine. You know? I don't know. And for kids at a wedding, our opinions these are just our opinions on today's episode. We we don't love it. And I mean we do this for for the bride and groom and for their family. The whole experience well in for you know, even for the grandparents of maybe maybe the bride is the sister and maybe she's got nieces and nephews that are all up in grandmother's lap. Yeah, I mean she can't enjoy it. She can't enjoy it. And it's different if you're married. Yeah, you're getting married. You already have kids. And yeah, of course your kids should be there. But in general, I'm just not a huge fan of unless you were explicitly invited. Yep, I say yeah, boom, we just solved the world's problem we can do it another amazing episode of I do IQ let's do a toast with screwball friend next week. It won't be screwball it'd be something I'll let you pick next week's Okay, thank you to kids, kids at weddings. Cheers. Thanks so much for listening and make sure to subscribe and expect a new exciting episode each and every week. Please follow us on social as well at I do IQ podcast. If you have a guest recommendation or a topic you would like to hear discussed on the podcast please let us know the IQ IQ podcast is recorded at the most amazing studio in Northwest Arkansas. And by the most amazing and best looking people in all the world go rogue x. You can follow them on social as well at go rogue x or visit them online at go rogue x.com they truly are amazing. And if you're looking to start a podcast, they are your go to people. Also a big shout out to our creative people David Kenny from forward all the way from the great state of Michigan. You can check his website out the foreword creative.com for all your logo and design needs. And for more information on Brocken Amanda, please visit DJ Brock entertainment.com and Amanda Reed weddings.com. Thank you again and we'll see you on the next episode.

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